SOS - As you wish, pt 2

Have fun storming the castle.


Think it'll work?


It would take a miracle!



-- The Princess Bride

Part 1

Before I left to make the southward drive to the war site, I called Jim. He was supposed to be meeting me at the war, but had been waffling, and playing this stupid I-don't-know-if-I-can-do-long-distance thing with me. I'd finally lost my temper and told him he could either pursue me, or not, I didn't really care. He'd renewed his pursuit, much to my dismay. He was, however, still waffling about coming out to the war. I realized the night before leaving for the war that I really didn't have the time or energy for a long distance relationship with a guy who couldn't figure out how he felt about me. In the morning, after I'd packed my car and before I headed south out of town, I called him. He wasn't answering his phone, so I did the callous and nasty thing. I broke up with him by voice mail.

"Jim. I don't know if you're still waffling about coming up to the war. If you're only going to come because of me, don't bother. I really don't think we're going to work out, and I wouldn't want you to waste your weekend. Like I said the other night, I just don't have a long distance relationship in me."

Those of us traveling from Hometown all arrived at the war about the same time, and as a group set up camp far away from everyone else, as our group was notorious for being loud. Soon, another notoriously loud group set up beside us and the party slum was born. And we went all night.

In the morning, the gang armoured up and made ready to do battle. It was 9am and we were all already sweating. It was going to be a typical, scorching hot, late August day. Happy Birthday to me.

While the fighting force got armoured, I tracked down the water supply. Medieval combat is an extreme sport. War in particular is physically exhausting. And because of the low numbers at this relatively small war, all the battles were going to be resurrection style, which meant when you were killed, you headed to a check point to resurrect and then headed back into the fray until the scenario was complete. It was going to be a hot, hard day for the fighters. It was going to be a hot, hard day for those of us waterbearing too. (Waterbearers ensure that the fighters remain adequately hydrated.)

I dragged a few 1 gallon jugs back to camp while the fighters finished getting ready, and encouraged them to drink before hitting the war field*. And then we all trooped over to the field together, a single mercenary fighting unit. Our 16 mercenary fighters outnumbered the other two war forces combined. A last minute decision was made for our mercenary band to fight against the other two armies, to make the day fair and fun.

I love the wars. It was the most fun I'd had on my birthday in years. I was dog tired by the time the war was over. I had a sunburn across my shoulders and the bridge of my nose. Back at camp, I collapsed into my chair, content. Some of the guys clapped me on the shoulder, thanking me for all the water I'd carried all day. Beaker flopped into a chair beside me, so exhausted he couldn't even be bothered removing his armour.

"Good fighting, eh?" I asked.

"Yeah. Want a beer?" He pulled a couple out of his cooler. I gratefully accepted it, and held it to my forehead. It was cold and sweaty.

"Ella!" A group of fighters were partially armed down, and chatting. I looked up, but didn't get up.

"Yeah?"

"Isn't it your birthday?" Dave and I had known each other since we'd first started in the medieval society, and he was probably who I knew the best out of the entire university crowd.

"Yeah."

"You gonna tie one on tonight?" Glen smirked. He was our resident party dog.

"Bubba in my tent says yes." That summer, Molson had released a mini-keg called a Bubba. It held the equivalent of 14 cans of beer. I had no intention of drinking the equivalent of 14 cans of beer, but I figured I could share my Bubba and keep it. It was really cute.

We carted the Bubba over to the feast tent, and I certainly shared a few tankards worth. Then my Butter Ripple Schnapps girlfriends showed up. With a birthday present for me. A bottle of Butter Ripple. I laughed.

"I left mine at home! Chapped lips, you know. Besides, most of the guys here are buddies. You can't be smooching your buddies all the time. Makes things weird."

"I bet there's enough guys here that you could get rid of it all. Consider it your birthday challenge, now that you're single again." One of them charged. As I was already tipsy, I was stupid enough to think about it. I approached the campfire. My girlfriends followed and explained the situation. The next thing I knew, there was a line-up of guys in front of me. Beaker was in the line.

"You'd better have chapstick for me too!" I took the bottle from my friends, and faced Glen. He laughed.

"You know, in the interest of helping out a friend. Consider if a birthday present. You can't drink all that by yourself." He thought it was hysterical. I was partially mortified, and more than a little concerned that Jim would show up out of nowhere to freak out.

After the first foray into "The Fine Old Tradition", I handed the bottle back to my friends and bowed out. I was feeling a little too wobbly to continue. Beaker sat down beside me and handed me his tankard. It was filled with nice, cool water. We sat around the campfire with everyone for a little while and then took a walk. It was a beautiful night. The sky was clear and there were a million stars twinkling down at us. Beaker pointed out a couple of constellations overhead. I found a satellite orbiting. And we saw some northern lights. I was suddenly aware of how romantic our setting was.

Certainly that wasn't my doing? I'd just wanted to get away from the noise of the campfire. I was on the downward side of tipsy, and sliding into drunk and I knew if I'd stuck around the fire I would wind up drunk a lot quicker. And while it was my birthday, and I was celebrating, I really disliked a hangover.

I sat down in the field and looked up at the sky. Beaker sat down behind me and wrapped his arms around me. He leaned his head on my shoulder and whispered softly.

"Do you have more of that stuff?"

"The schnapps?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You don't have to play the game though," I handed him my flask. Even in the dark, I could see the surprise and hurt flash across his face, "I mean, unless you want to."

He kissed me softly, and it was less awkward than the kissing at the campfire had been. His beard tickled my cheeks and neck. His fingers moved slowly through my hair and then trailed down my back. I shivered, both from the cold and the kiss.

"Perhaps we should find somewhere warmer?" He asked. I shivered again and nodded.

To be continued

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*Kim, this actually took place just a few clicks down the road from you.